Most likely, you spent about nine months doing everything you possibly could to give your baby the best start in life. You may have spent time before that trying to conceive and being as healthy as possible, with the same goal. You have probably read books; talked to the experienced moms you know and decided on everything from car seats to strollers and patterns for the nursery. What you may not have considered until the baby actually arrived was how you would bond with him or her.
Virtually every mother, even if she wouldn’t admit it, has worried about whether or not they will feel that instant click with the baby. If labor was difficult or a caesarean section was necessary, you are probably be in some pain and that will impact the emotions and hormones that you are dealing with. Every mother bonds with her baby in a different way. It may take a few days or it may be the moment you hear the first cry.
Your baby is hard-wired to know their mother and they don’t know that you aren’t sure of what you are doing. The best possible way to bond with your baby is to take care of him or her. Rock your son or daughter, talk to them and take advantage of the front pack carriers that are so popular today. The more time you spend caring happy wheels for your baby, the more comfortable you will get. One day, very soon, you will realize that your baby is as comfortable with you as you are with them, and that invisible, unbreakable bond will have formed. You don’t have to try for it, it’s just one of the most basic instincts that you can have.
Trust Your Instincts
All too often, we feel that something is wrong and as a new mom, it’s easy to get talked out of what you feel. In all likelihood, you know your child and what they need better than anyone else on the face of the Earth, and yes, that may include doting grandparents or even the father. If you think something is wrong, whether it’s a rash, a cranky baby or you just feel like something is “off”, trust your instincts.
If you are wrong, all you did was waste some time in the Pediatrician’s office. If you are right, you may have stopped an illness from getting worse or your baby from being uncomfortable. You should not worry about being concerned about your child and do not ever believe someone when they minimize your feelings. You’re the mother and these are your decisions to make.
Bonding with your baby changes as the child matures. In a year or two, it may be tough to get your toddler to sit down long enough for a cuddle, so be sure to take advantage of those opportunities today. Being a good mother means different things to different people, but it always includes love.
